Section Five - Time to smell the flowers (and eat some).

WehrGoat's Secret Plans for the Conquest of Canada

	Pause. Phase-line Hooters.


	Even a WehrGoat army has to stop for resupply and nudie-bars. All WehrGoat divisions will pause after achieving their Phase One objectives. Several large Canadian cities that were bypassed during the initial surge will be overrun before the advance is halted: Vancouver, Calgary, Winnipeg, and Montreal. Therein, the moose shall rejoice.

Resupply Orders

The following are the resupply orders for the WehrGoat divisions. A Chief Heavy-Petting Officer of the 2nd Order is tasked as the Three-Quarters-Master for the WehrGoat TaskForce Canada (the umbrella organization for all WehrGoat forces involved in this operation).

5th Infantry
(A) 7 days of rations.
(B) 14,000 tokens for the "Test Your Love Quotient" machine.
(C) 4,000 gallons of Red paint and Miracle Whip (TM)

2nd Armored
(A) 7 days of fuel.
(B) 6,500 "Learn Brain Surgery from Your Home" training packages.
(C) 1 tube of toothpaste.

1st Infantry
(A) 14 tons of bran muffins.
(B) 57 NFL cheerleaders.
(C) 7 cans of WD-40.

2nd Infantry
(A) 14 days of rations.
(B) 11,000 cases of Near-Beer (for subversion operations).

1st Armored
(A) 10 days of fuel.
(B) 20,000 lawn darts.
(C) 4 tons of corn.

2nd Shock
(A) 1 toothpick.

3rd Infantry
(A) Another bottle of beer.
(B) 14,000 gallons of hair remover.
(C) 5,000 copies of "How to Pick up Canadian Beavers."

1st Shock
(A) 10,000 spray-cans of Goose-Guard (tm).
(B) 8 days of rations.
(C) 4 changes of underwear.

WehrGoat Expeditionary Brigade.
Not a friggin' thing.

The WehrGoat Home-front March

The following is a song that can be heard at WehrGoat parades, as they march to battle.
It is sung to the tune of When Johnny Comes Marching Home.

The WehrGoats are Marching Off Again,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
They're off to kick some ass again,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
They'll kick and stomp and snort and shout,
Then rip your fucking livers out
And you'll all run away,
When the WehrGoats go marching off.

The WehrGoats are Marching Off Again,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
To crush and kill ours foes again,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
They'll ram a horn into your ass,
All your sheep they will harass
And you'll all run away,
When the WehrGoats go marching off.

The WehrGoats are Marching Off Again,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
To fight and win a war again,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
They'll blitz their way into your town
Then quickly they will burn it down
And you'll all run away,
When the WehrGoats go marching off.