Capra Conquistadora The Wehrgoat From rumination to outright invasion.

Setting aside their awe inspiring reputation as the supreme warrior, the WehrGoat is of course just a goat. As such, they are a naturally durable mammal. Goats are well adapted to a wide range of habitats. They can subsist off of a simple diet. Many possess natural weaponry -- horns. Let's admit it; goats are awesome.  However, an average farm goat has never overrun a nation, pillaged an empire, or sacked a capitol. Indeed, the WehrGoat is more than a typical goat.

To better understand the WehrGoat, it is useful to examine a more typical specimen of the genus and compare it to our beloved blitz-mammal. Below, we compare a typical goat and a WehrGoat. Primary features and traits are identified. Pay particular attention to the lack of medals and awards on the ordinary goat's coat.

A typical four-legged mammal. Only wears a collar.  No clothes or tattoos. Robust eating habits, but they will not drink mixed Vodka and Gasoline. Stout but not particularly muscular. Small hooves.  They are good for climbing rocks, but poor for kicking in the face of an enemy. Beer-gut from eating too many light bulbs and cardboard boxes. Poor posture. Exposed flank. Does not wear boots.  If one were to goose-step, it would kick itself in the gonads.

Spiked helmet bearing the Regimental Shield of the "4th Mountain Shock Assault Storm Grenadiers."  Typical field uniform made from the wool of subservient sheep. Sharpened horns protrude from holes in the helmet. With the bayonet, the spike, and the two horns, a WehrGoat has four points in which to spear an enemy with their trademark "Ram" attack.  Distinctive visage. Combat decorations.  The "Medal of Extreme Violence" is shown here. Ammo Sack. Goat Sack. Uniform pocket contains salt, pepper, and ketchup packages.  Since the WehrGoat can subsist on almost anything they find in the field, from enemy foodstuffs to spend artillery shell casings, they need not bring rations.  Rather, they only carry condiments. Standard issue Infantry rifle.  Rank is displayed on the sleeve.  The rank of "Infantry Command Goat, 3rd Class" is shown here.

Obviously, a WehrGoat is made for war, and not for mowing the lawn or chasing the family dog.  The following is a list of statistics for the WehrGoat kind. 

(1)  Launching yourself at a machine gun nest is not a healthy activity.  Female WehrGoats let the men go first.
(2)  see (1).  The females retire early with their pension and deceased spouse's insurance money.

Strength.  Endurance.  Instinct.  Determination.  These are all strong attributes of a WehrGoat.  However, the very essence of the WehrGoat's power is one, simple thing:  heat rashes.  They are bigger than a typical goat.  Smarter.  Faster.  Stronger.  Yet, they share the same hair.  Heavy wool uniforms and thick leather boots only swelter a WehrGoat in its natural coat.  The result?  Constant irritability.
 
Does a WehrGoat apply ointment?  Never!  Will one stop and scratch?  Unheard of!  So, how does the WehrGoat seek relief?  By crushing skulls, burning villages, and smashing forts.  They are always cranky.  They are always armed.  Thus, they are always dangerous.
 
The dawn of the Wehrgoat came when their evolutionary path diverged from the typical goat.  Back when goats wore sabre-tooth sheep skins and heated under a warmer average temperature, they scratched and waded in water to relieve what ailed their hide.  At some point, a genetic alteration stopped this behavior;  a mutant goat turned and rammed a fellow goat.  From this goat came the WehrGoats.  A sharp uniform has replaced the sheep skins.  However, the irritability has always remained the same.